With voicemail like this, who needs enemies?  

Posted by doug

The voicemail system at my work is unnecessarily complicated1. Most voicemail systems have a number that you dial, or even a button on your phone that just goes to voicemail, right?2 Not here. The following is an almost verbatim exchange that I just had to go through to get my messages.

Dial 1-9-093873-43289 and then Pi to the 33rd digit.
"Mailbox?"
dial extension
"Password?"
dial password
"Latitude and Longitude of the Men's Room in the Taj Mahal?"
dial latitude and longitude of the men's room in the Taj Mahal. I'd rather not get into how I know this.
"What is Foreigner's best song ever?"
"Uh, I don't know. Dirty White Boy?"
"That was a trick question. Foreigner sucks."
"Well, I though some of their early stuff was pretty good."
"Nope, they suck. What do you want?"
"Can I have my messages please?"
"Why?"
"Because I want to know what the people who called me want from me."
"The free clinic called. Your urine should turn a normal color in about three days."
"Yeah, that's great. Anyway, the real messages?"
[High pitched voice]"The real messages?"
"Real classy, voicemail."
[High pitched voice] "Real classy, voicemail."
"I work in IT. I know where the voicemail machine sits. It's in a darkly lit room full of heavy tools. I have the key to that room - and a free afternoon."
"Connecting you to your voicemail now, sir."


1. As opposed to necessary complications
2. Pause for answer

This entry was posted on Monday, October 29, 2007 at Monday, October 29, 2007 . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .

1 rabid fans

Shhhh!

I am laughing too hard and people are going to know I am not working in here!

Bad fing!

October 30, 2007 at 8:36:00 AM CST

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