tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-374754152024-02-06T22:40:41.720-06:00A Blatherskite's CompendiumAn unfortunate collection of nonsensedoughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15057385645073028552noreply@blogger.comBlogger55125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37475415.post-79182353186209092482010-05-14T09:43:00.010-06:002010-05-14T10:35:01.547-06:00His holy potty mouth<span style="font-size:85%;">So I go to the bank, right, and teller is making this face like she doesn't want to make change for a dollar...</span>
<br />
<br />DOUG, ENOUGH OF THIS HORSESHIT
<br />
<br /><span style="font-size:85%;">What the hell?</span>
<br />
<br />THIS IS THE VOICE OF GOD
<br />
<br /><span style="font-size:85%;">I, uh, I think you mean the literary voice, because...</span>
<br />
<br />SHUT THE SHIT UP
<br />
<br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Right-o</span>
<br />
<br />TURN OFF THAT MUSIC. WHAT IS THAT, HOOTIE AND THE BLOWFISH? ARE YOU 12? IS THIS 1996?
<br /><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br /></span><span style="font-size:85%;">It's quite an underrated band.</span>
<br />
<br />BLARNEY BOLLOCKS! THE POINT IS, I'VE CHOSEN YOUR BLOG TO RECEIVE MY HOLY WORD!
<br />
<br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Did you just use blarney bollocks as a curse word?</span>
<br />
<br />I GOT IT FROM ISAAC NEWTON, PUNK. HE INVENTED CALCULUS. YOU SPENT THE PAST HALF-HOUR CLEANING YOUR EAR WITH A PAPER CLIP.
<br /><span style="font-size:85%;">
<br />Can we cut out the caps lock, Lord? You look like a republican on the internet.</span>
<br />
<br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">Ha, good one. Very well. As I was saying...</span>
<br />
<br /><span style="font-size:85%;">Wait, what do you look like?</span>
<br />
<br /><span style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">My son almighty! Enough with the interruptions. Fine, if it will shut you up. Then you will publish my screed.</span>
<br />
<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHggt-2a7wITnljUpMQOMNlzbw_6sGSmCW2lgvPObyktlVPGgV9tbG8GKiTHLP-7Z5sdA27G8FHqI-7m45imkfp_1rT0wrOo8oawo9gFErNNjYWwjV0ydBC0fH5i-aK38T-Tb85A/s1600/tn2_ian_mckellen_3.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 213px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHggt-2a7wITnljUpMQOMNlzbw_6sGSmCW2lgvPObyktlVPGgV9tbG8GKiTHLP-7Z5sdA27G8FHqI-7m45imkfp_1rT0wrOo8oawo9gFErNNjYWwjV0ydBC0fH5i-aK38T-Tb85A/s320/tn2_ian_mckellen_3.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5471155350198211858" border="0" /></a>
<br /><span style="font-size:78%;">Totally God, and not Gandalf from Lord of the Rings
<br />
<br /></span><div style="text-align: left;"><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 12"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CDNOBLE%7E1%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><link rel="themeData" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CDNOBLE%7E1%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_themedata.thmx"><link rel="colorSchemeMapping" href="file:///C:%5CUsers%5CDNOBLE%7E1%5CAppData%5CLocal%5CTemp%5Cmsohtmlclip1%5C01%5Cclip_colorschememapping.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:splitpgbreakandparamark/> <w:dontvertaligncellwithsp/> <w:dontbreakconstrainedforcedtables/> <w:dontvertalignintxbx/> <w:word11kerningpairs/> <w:cachedcolbalance/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> <m:mathpr> <m:mathfont val="Cambria Math"> <m:brkbin val="before"> <m:brkbinsub val="--"> <m:smallfrac val="off"> <m:dispdef/> <m:lmargin val="0"> <m:rmargin val="0"> <m:defjc val="centerGroup"> <m:wrapindent val="1440"> <m:intlim val="subSup"> <m:narylim val="undOvr"> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" defunhidewhenused="true" defsemihidden="true" defqformat="false" defpriority="99" latentstylecount="267"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="0" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Normal"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="heading 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 7"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 8"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="9" qformat="true" name="heading 9"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 7"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 8"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" name="toc 9"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="0" name="header"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="35" qformat="true" name="caption"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="0" name="page number"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="10" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Title"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="0" name="Closing"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="0" name="Signature"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="1" name="Default Paragraph Font"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="0" name="Body Text"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="11" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtitle"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="0" name="Salutation"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="0" name="Date"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="22" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Strong"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="20" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="59" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Table Grid"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Placeholder Text"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="1" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="No Spacing"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Revision"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="34" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="List Paragraph"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="29" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Quote"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="30" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Quote"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="60" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Shading Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="61" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light List Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="62" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Light Grid Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="63" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="64" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="65" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="66" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="67" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="68" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="69" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="70" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Dark List Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="71" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="72" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful List Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="73" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="19" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtle Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="21" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="31" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtle Reference"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="32" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Reference"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="33" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Book Title"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="37" name="Bibliography"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" qformat="true" name="TOC Heading"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:"Cambria Math"; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:1; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-format:other; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 0 0 0 0 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} p.MsoHeader, li.MsoHeader, div.MsoHeader {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-link:"Header Char"; margin-top:0in; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:24.0pt; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; tab-stops:center 3.0in right 6.0in; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} p.MsoClosing, li.MsoClosing, div.MsoClosing {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-link:"Closing Char"; margin-top:0in; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:48.0pt; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} p.MsoSignature, li.MsoSignature, div.MsoSignature {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-link:"Signature Char"; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} p.MsoBodyText, li.MsoBodyText, div.MsoBodyText {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-link:"Body Text Char"; margin-top:0in; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:12.0pt; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} p.MsoSalutation, li.MsoSalutation, div.MsoSalutation {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-link:"Salutation Char"; mso-style-next:Normal; margin-top:24.0pt; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:12.0pt; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} p.MsoDate, li.MsoDate, div.MsoDate {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-link:"Date Char"; mso-style-next:Normal; margin-top:0in; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:24.0pt; margin-left:0in; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} p.SenderAddress, li.SenderAddress, div.SenderAddress {mso-style-name:"Sender Address"; mso-style-unhide:no; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} span.DateChar {mso-style-name:"Date Char"; mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-locked:yes; mso-style-link:Date; mso-ansi-font-size:12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;} p.RecipientAddress, li.RecipientAddress, div.RecipientAddress {mso-style-name:"Recipient Address"; mso-style-unhide:no; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} span.SalutationChar {mso-style-name:"Salutation Char"; mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-locked:yes; mso-style-link:Salutation; mso-ansi-font-size:12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;} span.ClosingChar {mso-style-name:"Closing Char"; mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-locked:yes; mso-style-link:Closing; mso-ansi-font-size:12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;} span.SignatureChar {mso-style-name:"Signature Char"; mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-locked:yes; mso-style-link:Signature; mso-ansi-font-size:12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;} span.BodyTextChar {mso-style-name:"Body Text Char"; mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-locked:yes; mso-style-link:"Body Text"; mso-ansi-font-size:12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;} span.HeaderChar {mso-style-name:"Header Char"; mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-locked:yes; mso-style-link:Header; mso-ansi-font-size:12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;} .MsoChpDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; mso-default-props:yes; font-size:10.0pt; mso-ansi-font-size:10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size:10.0pt;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} /* List Definitions */ @list l0 {mso-list-id:2139104996; mso-list-type:hybrid; mso-list-template-ids:1570304974 67698705 67698713 67698715 67698703 67698713 67698715 67698703 67698713 67698715;} @list l0:level1 {mso-level-text:"%1\)"; mso-level-tab-stop:none; mso-level-number-position:left; text-indent:-.25in;} ol {margin-bottom:0in;} ul {margin-bottom:0in;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman","serif";} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="SenderAddress">God</p> <p class="SenderAddress">Heaven</p> <p class="SenderAddress"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoDate"><!--[if supportFields]><span style="'mso-element:field-begin'"></span>CREATEDATE<span style="'mso-spacerun:yes'"> </span>\@ "MMMM d, yyyy"<span style="'mso-spacerun:yes'"> </span>\* MERGEFORMAT<span style="'mso-element:field-separator'"></span><![endif]--><span style="">May 14, 2010</span><!--[if supportFields]><span style="'mso-element:field-end'"></span><![endif]--></p> <p class="RecipientAddress">Every asshole human</p> <p class="RecipientAddress">Earth</p> <p class="RecipientAddress"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoSalutation">Dear [Recipient Name]<!--[if supportFields]><span style="'mso-element:"></span>MACROBUTTON<span style="'mso-spacerun:yes'"> </span>DoFieldClick [<b style="'mso-bidi-font-weight:normal'">Recipient Name</b>]<![endif]--><!--[if supportFields]><span style="'mso-element:field-end'"></span><![endif]-->:</p> <p class="MsoBodyText">There is much confusion and misunderstanding regarding my policies.<span style=""> </span>This letter serves as formal notice that you are, in fact, doing it wrong.<span style=""> </span>I will list my grievances in no particular order.</p> <p class="MsoBodyText" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="">1)<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style=""> </span>Catholics – ugh.<span style=""> </span>Just fucking ugh.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoBodyText" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="">2)<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span><!--[endif]-->Gay marriage – yeah, I realize that upon first read of the bible, it might seem like I’m against this.<span style=""> </span>But here’s the thing:<span style=""> </span>I didn’t write the bible.<span style=""> </span>In those days, I couldn’t get a publisher to look my way if I stapled a 20-Drachma note to my forehead.<span style=""> </span>Granted, that’s my own fault for smiting so many of them (I went a little smite-crazy for a while in my twenties).<span style=""> But it was written by people with their own opinions and prejudices. I mean, we're talking about people who shit in a bucket. Not exactly sophisticated. This was a time when pubic lice was the <span style="font-style: italic;">good</span> kind of lice. And the syphilis! Myself, the unrelenting syphilis! That was quite the tequila bender when I invented <span style="font-style: italic;">that</span>. Ahem. Anyhoo.
<br /></span></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="">3) Snake Handlers - Seriously? I need to go back and look at the code for evolution. Must be a bug in the "batshit insane" routine.
<br /></span></p><p class="MsoBodyText" style="margin-left: 0.5in; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="">4) Jews - Look, I like you guys, I really do, but "my chosen people"? I got six-damn-billion people to look after. I can't play favorites. For Vishnu's sake, I put money on the Colts. Oh, and also, you're fighting over a fucking desert. Learn to share, or just go buy a nice condo in Fort Lauderdale and complain about your kids never calling.
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoBodyText">In closing, just be nice to each other. It's really not that hard. Well, okay, except for Pat Robertson. You have my permission to act like you don't see him at the Wal-Mart.
<br /></p> <p class="MsoClosing">Sincerely,</p><p class="MsoClosing">Preston Q. Yahweh
<br /></p><p class="MsoSignature"><!--[if supportFields]><span style="'mso-element:field-begin'"></span><span style="'mso-spacerun:yes'"> </span>MACROBUTTON<span style="'mso-spacerun:yes'"> </span>DoFieldClick [<b style="'mso-bidi-font-weight:normal'">Your Name</b>]<![endif]--><!--[if supportFields]><span style="'mso-element:field-end'"></span><![endif]--></p> <p class="MsoSignature"><!--[if supportFields]><span style="'mso-element:field-begin'"></span>MACROBUTTON DoFieldClick [<b style="'mso-bidi-font-weight:normal'">Title</b>]<![endif]--><!--[if supportFields]><span style="'mso-element:field-end'"></span><![endif]--></p> </div></div>doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15057385645073028552noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37475415.post-28099683806162533952010-05-13T13:42:00.005-06:002010-05-13T13:51:59.866-06:00The one about the ultrasoundJust got back from an ultrasound. Wow, is it ever a humbling experience. Not necessarily because you are watching a new life being formed and realizing that you were once in the same position, but because <span style="font-style: italic;">you have no fucking clue what you are looking at</span>. Ultrasound operators are either the most brilliant minds or biggest con artists on the planet. No matter who you are, they are literally smarter than you. <br /><br />"Seriously, that's an arm? Because it looks like I'm 12 and trying to watch scrambled HBO."doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15057385645073028552noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37475415.post-18774265302465419172009-03-10T07:24:00.004-06:002009-03-10T08:06:50.272-06:00In which I'm offered 3 Hawaiian islandsSo, I've been offered a job. I wasn't really looking for a job, the job I have works fine. A few scratches here and there, some of the paint is worn off of the corner, but it didn't seem worth it to just run out and get a new one. Still, the detritus from my previous job searches existed out in the flotsam and jetsam of several internet job boards, and this job found me. Specifically, a recruiter found me. I played coy at first. The drive is a bit longer. It was a very large company, which I am generally against on principle. All of the anagrams that could be made from the company's name were non-fart related in nature. I was hesitant. Still, the recruiter showed persistence.<br /><br />He started off casually, "So, how about a 60% raise?"<br />This seemed like a trick. 60% of zero was only $12,000 a year. "Erm, I don't know."<br />"Have you ever dreamed of owning your own dragon?"<br />"My wife doesn't even like dogs."<br />He was nonplussed. "We will fly in an elderly Japanese gentleman to teach you the art of ninjitsu."<br />"Have you been reading my Karate Kid fan fiction?"<br />"Yes, and despite that we still want to hire you."<br />It was tempting. "Well, it would look good on a resume." He sensed my interest, and pounced, much in the way that a tiger would pounce on, I guess another tiger that the first tiger was trying to recruit to do something. Another pouncing job, maybe.<br />"You want to see the cryogenically frozen body of Walt Disney?"<br />"I thought that was just a rumor!"<br />"It is to all but 3 people in the world. After you, we'll kill the third one." The talk of wanton murder was a bit of a turn-off. He added a note of desperation to his voice. "We have a time machine. You can use it on every other Wednesday."<br />The wheels began turning, a soft "Hmmm" escaped my mouth. He must have realized what I was thinking, because he cut in, "Of course, protocol prevents you from really altering the timeline, like killing Hitler.."<br />I cut him off, "But could I shave Lincoln while he sleeps?"<br />He hesitated, "...I guess... What do you say?"<br />"You're a fancy-pants recruiter and I'm just a regular pantsed guy, but I would be pleased to be the new night shift manager at Denny's!"doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15057385645073028552noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37475415.post-76348323745062327832009-01-21T08:33:00.002-06:002009-02-13T12:53:56.586-06:00Meet interesting people ... and have them give you flowers<div>I've been thinking a little about military recruiting advertising recently. For the most part, it's bullshit. Yeah, I get that most advertising is bullshit. I once heard a story1 (or made it up during a Red Bull binge) that diamonds really weren't all that popular a gift until a little company known as DeBeers (not to be confused with "Da Bears!") found a diamond mine and hired someone to advertise the hell out of them. They put the idea in people's heads that you don't really love your wife unless you give her a diamond. Oh, also, diamonds are like, super scarce. There's only three in the entire world. So if you want one that you can actually, you know, see, get your checkbook. But diamonds come out of the ground. You know what else comes out of the ground? Dirt. Try giving your wife some dirt for Christmas. Such a double standard.<br /><br />So the military has to rule out the honest approach. It's a hard job for very little pay. You get shot at. It's a lot like working the midnight shift at the Gas-N-Go except you can't steal the Slim Jims. So they have to appeal to patriotism and honor and other such qualities that you were supposed to learn by repeating the Pledge of Allegiance once a day from 1st to the 12th grade (Did anyone else think the word was actually "invisible"? How the fuck did we live in one nation, invisible?). I saw a billboard for the marines this morning that said, "We don't accept applications. Only commitments". Or something like that. It was early and I was drinking (Had the billboard actually said, "It's early and you're drinking. C'mon, join already", it might have been such an eerie coincidence that I would've had no choice but to sign up). That's a bit extreme, don't you think? I've never had a job interview where I've walked in and been immediately asked to pledge my loyalty without the company knowing anything about me.<br /><br /><br />On second thought, that's exactly how I ended up in that Turkish prison. </div>doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15057385645073028552noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37475415.post-14056043415749406352008-04-29T10:37:00.003-06:002008-12-09T02:14:21.284-06:00Other stuff I hateI hate intentional misspellings.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXREvRlB8AQwH1LXgDpTkry9XXhOmFAihc3Y8dzP7GTs8kabXy3USiyXLrp6JyHF9Xr5DExB0v1TWkHwioT3vzqATdMHHsnwCFm9s2c_d6_lhZhMDhHHCpSRK6HqynpHbpGHEFfw/s1600-h/logolrg.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXREvRlB8AQwH1LXgDpTkry9XXhOmFAihc3Y8dzP7GTs8kabXy3USiyXLrp6JyHF9Xr5DExB0v1TWkHwioT3vzqATdMHHsnwCFm9s2c_d6_lhZhMDhHHCpSRK6HqynpHbpGHEFfw/s320/logolrg.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5194707427837971074" border="0" /></a>Krazy Glue, you so krazy!doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15057385645073028552noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37475415.post-88122067268965937992008-04-04T09:22:00.003-06:002008-04-04T09:34:10.881-06:00You know, I hate the abbreviation "LOL"...But it totally applies here. I don't think I've ever watched a Youtube video five times in a row before. Watch this and then follow up with the rest of the post:<br /><object height="355" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/eaGgpGLxLQw&hl=en"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/eaGgpGLxLQw&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="355" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br />Cast of characters (I think):<br />The main character - Richard Dawkins, noted biologist and writer<br />Guy with the squid on his hat: PZ Myers, who got kicked out of a showing of Expelled<br />The bikini lady: Eugenie Scott, Director of the National Center for Science Education<br />Guy with braces: Sam Harris, atheist and author of "Letter to a Christian Nation"<br />Guy in huge hat: Philosopher Daniel Dennett<br />Guy who looks like Charles Darwin: Charles Darwin<br /><br />And these are probably the lyrics, I lifted them off of a blog comment somewhere:<br /><br />My name is D to the I to the C to the K, Yeah I'm the Dickie D,<br />I gots my phd and comin' your way on the youtube to bust your world view<br />so just listen to me and don't you argue.<br /><br />You see, this battle's been ragin' since Zeus was on the bottle,<br />between Science like Democritus and Faith like Aristotle,<br />who said the mover wasn't movin' like some magic trick but<br />that's no good logic, my posse is far too quick for this<br />religious sthick.<br /><br />Cos science is the only way to know y'all,<br />you stand with me y'all,<br />or you can fall y'all so go ahead and take your pick.<br /><br />ES: Yeah you tell him Rick ...<br />Darwin : Cos if you don't know me ...<br /><br />RD: YOU DON'T KNOW DICK!!<br /><br />Chorus : Yeah he's the Dick to the Doc to the phd,<br />he's smarter than you he's got a science degree!<br />Yeah he's the Dick to the Doc to the phd,<br />he's smarter than you he's got a science degree!<br /><br />SH:On the shoulders of midgets we built up this machine,<br />DD:YEAH!!!<br />RD:Silence that watch... Paley<br />Growing stronger and harder almost daily, storming wilber by force as we framed the discourse until the science split in schismatic divorce then Darwin took to the seas to see what no one had seen, and ever since then we've been increasingly keen, they may never adore us, but they'll no longer ignore us, give it to 'em PZ hit these BLEEP with the chorus!!!<br /><br />Chorus : Yeah he's the Dick to the Doc to the phd,<br />he's smarter than you he's got a science degree!<br />The Dick to the Doc to the phd,<br />he's still smarter than you he studied biology!<br /><br /><br />Then there was Darrow dukin' it out with the straight and the narrow a ragin' bull in the ring, he did his thing, and took it on the chin like he was bobby de niro.<br />We might have lost at Scopes, beaten down by the dopes, and the stooges of popes, but in losin' we coped, becomin' more than we hoped, creationists slipped on the soap of their own slippery slope, what was impossible, improbable, is now wholly unstoppable .... the creationst foldup you hate us talking bull, don't you know that this Dick BLEEP frickin' unblockable ...<br /><br />Chorus : Yeah he's the Dick to the Doc to the phd,<br />he's smarter than you he's got a science degree!<br />The Dick to the Doc to the phd,<br />he's still smarter than you he studied biology!<br /><br />Now the machine of our making, sees culture ripe for the taking Cos I'm the rapper thats rappin the .... unlike the Catholic, Muslim or even the Jew, believes that no God but science could ever be true, hell if I was dyslexic I'd even hate "dog" too.<br /><br />Time to open your eyes, get yourself wise, the age of science has arised to be religions demise, and while you turkeys all cry, shouting why God oh why, I'll still be poppin' my collar earning more dollars than Allah.<br /><br />Chorus : Yeah he's the Dick to the Doc to the phd,<br />he's smarter than you he's got a science degree!<br />The Dick to the Doc to the phd,<br />he's still smarter than you he studied biology!<br /><br />Chorus : Yeah he's the Dick to the Doc to the phd,<br />he's smarter than you he's got a science degree!<br />The Dick to the Doc to the phd,<br />he's still smarter than you he studied biology!doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15057385645073028552noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37475415.post-49407328983160224562008-02-25T12:26:00.002-06:002008-02-25T12:28:02.624-06:00ErrataThis past weekend Gov. Mike Huckabee was on Saturday Night Live. I don't care for the man's politics, but you have to appreciate someone who can laugh at themselves.<br /><br /><object width="400" height="295"><param name="movie" value="http://www.hulu.com/embed/GPYfjsVivc9n7-VqOYrtzQ"></param><embed src="http://www.hulu.com/embed/GPYfjsVivc9n7-VqOYrtzQ" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="295"></embed></object>doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15057385645073028552noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37475415.post-70548607038529423132008-02-20T14:39:00.002-06:002008-10-29T09:47:26.896-06:00Like you're some prize yourselfGeese are assholes<sup>1</sup>.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:78%;"><sup>1.</sup> If you're a goose and you're offended, my apologies. In my defense, you're probably an asshole.</span>doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15057385645073028552noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37475415.post-47062942315205633412008-02-15T11:24:00.003-06:002008-12-09T02:14:21.435-06:00Summon Sir Jerry BruckheimerMany large cities lie in ruins, as well as the most recognizable and photogenic of monuments around the world, destroyed by a special-effects laden alien death ray. Someone who would never have been elected President in real life gives a rousing speech and leads the ragtag band of poorly-trained civilians in a grand battle against alien deathships whose size can only be described as "big ass". We win, of course, every damn time, because we are the civilization that invented 'Weekend at Bernie's'. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-gaX79nMEvaSCy7U8dYIppn_mlR2nf4xp73gm2HRBCD7nWFlVT51XSrgQX1W0W8GeTx_22r2xAapn2c7Q4s2ZyLA0QAhSjcoB5s4CeG2gzIaE1jWqQ9K9s0JoZTJg14iV1q2oRw/s1600-h/weekendatbernies1dvd_large.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-gaX79nMEvaSCy7U8dYIppn_mlR2nf4xp73gm2HRBCD7nWFlVT51XSrgQX1W0W8GeTx_22r2xAapn2c7Q4s2ZyLA0QAhSjcoB5s4CeG2gzIaE1jWqQ9K9s0JoZTJg14iV1q2oRw/s320/weekendatbernies1dvd_large.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5167259315445546274" border="0" /></a>doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15057385645073028552noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37475415.post-15177878361886447212008-02-15T09:02:00.001-06:002008-12-09T02:14:21.641-06:00One day... One dayIn the film, "The Last Starfighter" the protagonist dreams about leaving his small town and doing something great. He gets his wish when it turns out that his favorite video game is a actually a convoluted plan to recruit the most skillful starfighter pilots to fight the evil Xur and the Kodan armada. The 80's were awesome. Anyway, I'd like a Prius. So if there's some game where you have to drive a Prius, I'm all over it<sup>1</sup>.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI6VRVMfi8_XzM9BBo2ZthFgC-7W17nX23NkqIbx5vfDTj1oI1swCmHWFFsXADWBTYavo5Y8wkkfmGgorP4YU9JmlKPzDdWgyVsI4qga8gNKsKWwWIFesOnu8AfhNy2A6ANqtvKw/s1600-h/07_Prius.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI6VRVMfi8_XzM9BBo2ZthFgC-7W17nX23NkqIbx5vfDTj1oI1swCmHWFFsXADWBTYavo5Y8wkkfmGgorP4YU9JmlKPzDdWgyVsI4qga8gNKsKWwWIFesOnu8AfhNy2A6ANqtvKw/s400/07_Prius.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5166958302662606098" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:78%;"><sup>1.</sup> Yes, it did seem like an abrupt ending, didn't it? Personally, I'd have liked to hear more about the Prius. Rumor has it the 2008 models can travel through time.<br /></span>doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15057385645073028552noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37475415.post-72834380696498338092008-02-14T09:36:00.005-06:002008-02-14T10:03:23.727-06:00In which I say quite a few naughty words"A study in contrasts Saudi Arabia is", Yoda would say, were he actually real and someone who studies or even occasionally reads about the middle eastern kingdom. Also, Yoda is diplomatic, while I have much harsher words for that dung heap in the middle east.<br /><br />The King of Saudi Arabia wants to build the world's most expensive and advanced <a href="http://www.ameinfo.com/146933.html">university</a>. Its endowments will rival that of MIT. Sounds nice, right? Well, it does until you realize that in order to attend this university, you have to be in Saudi Arabia.<br /><br />A few days I mentioned an article that said that the Saudi Arabian religious yahoo vice squad (the subject of the 80's spin-off series, "Saudi Vice") were playing the role of the hilariously stereotyped grumpy, crusty old man who gets hit in the face with a pie in any Three Stooges episode. They essentially were raiding flower shops to get rid of anything red. The reason for doing this? I quote, "Mahmoud will not share the monkey bars! I'm off to repress the masses!". Now, I get wind of a story that Saudi Arabia is all set to execute a woman for being... <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/7244579.stm">a witch</a>. To top it all off, she's illiterate. No, this isn't some shitty sequel to 'Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grain'. Also, it's not 1200 AD. If it were, I could find a decent mug of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mead">mead</a>.<br /><br />Apparently, she's exhausted all her appeals and it's up the King to let her off the hook.<br /><br />It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt. You want to make asses of yourself and declare jihad on roses, be my guest. I'll bring a camera. But when you pull shit like this... This is what we have to look forward to if the ever-fragile wall separating church and state is broken in this country.<br /><br />I'm sure there are decent people in SA trying to improve their country for the better. I offer my best and would ask them to stop reading now. To everyone else... Kiss my atheist, lily-white, and freedom loving ass.doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15057385645073028552noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37475415.post-83251665958266796922008-02-14T09:18:00.001-06:002008-02-14T09:36:35.914-06:00If I were a ghost, volume 87If I were a ghost, I'd get an endorsement, say from Skittles. Then, in an elevator, I'd whisper "Skittles". Everyone would then want Skittles and not know why. Then Skittles would try to screw me over because everyone knows that a ghost can't take Skittles to court<sup>1</sup>.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:78%;"><sup>1.</sup> Up the meds. Or down the meds. Something to do with meds.</span>doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15057385645073028552noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37475415.post-74513654492734373652008-02-13T09:25:00.000-06:002008-02-13T09:22:32.218-06:00From the Kingdom of Breckinshire newsdesk...The world's leading proctologists<sup>1</sup> will converge on Saudi Arabia this week to discuss ways to remove the giant stick from its ass:<br /><br /><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/meast/02/12/saudi.valentine/index.html?iref=mpstoryview">CNN.com</a><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:78%;"><sup>1</sup> Fancy word for "ass doctor"</span>doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15057385645073028552noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37475415.post-22584034457391849892008-02-12T12:21:00.000-06:002008-12-09T02:14:21.892-06:00Happy Birthday, one of the best scientists ever!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGNK3BowC_AGvajc9kf4i1NU7JdhkcqGtAPc0OkazY9UAP8XD82Pg8vJDBuXSQbIOOE6YywBfXnUg3-I9jr6fsOKzmOerggJo8FtEOlr_HNs-XjyvEdLQDrUbLDG9u9cG9Iu_5Qg/s1600-h/021108_darwin_bg.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGNK3BowC_AGvajc9kf4i1NU7JdhkcqGtAPc0OkazY9UAP8XD82Pg8vJDBuXSQbIOOE6YywBfXnUg3-I9jr6fsOKzmOerggJo8FtEOlr_HNs-XjyvEdLQDrUbLDG9u9cG9Iu_5Qg/s400/021108_darwin_bg.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5166161569049328882" border="0" /></a><br />I must be slipping in my old age. I can't believe I had forgotten that today is the birthday of Charles Darwin. Were he alive today, he would be a decrepit 199-year-old zombie beast with a dapper hat.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.wired.com/science/discoveries/news/2008/02/darwin_vote">Wired</a> has a decent article about religious hysteria regarding evolution.doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15057385645073028552noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37475415.post-72053390871657169822008-02-12T09:00:00.000-06:002008-02-12T09:47:07.997-06:00Pronunciation Nazi Strikes Back1They say everyone has to have a hobby...<br /><br />And my hobby is murder<sup>2</sup>.<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:78%;"><sup>1.</sup> The working title of the sequel to Star Wars. Word has it George Lucas' dog talked him out of it over mudslides at Applebees.<br /><br /><sup>2.</sup> You're not saying it right. You have to say it real slow and kind of British, like "muh-duh". You're saying "mudda", aren't you? This is why you're still the assistant night manager at the race track.</span>doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15057385645073028552noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37475415.post-11868962319027868982008-02-06T14:50:00.000-06:002008-12-09T02:14:22.042-06:00Apologies to carnivores1<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHheFiXYLir9IZMKKwXLtAvNCh931_ehQxpZmL76C8hCFPfrMXmJBGX-xAiUe_axykaD3_oaFNuntkhNXePbl-ZzMkBO66dpKXpfWkblWExoaOFcM-1Z6J3gyc-K95M59UDyJgMQ/s1600-h/Hispanic_PotRoast_12.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHheFiXYLir9IZMKKwXLtAvNCh931_ehQxpZmL76C8hCFPfrMXmJBGX-xAiUe_axykaD3_oaFNuntkhNXePbl-ZzMkBO66dpKXpfWkblWExoaOFcM-1Z6J3gyc-K95M59UDyJgMQ/s200/Hispanic_PotRoast_12.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5163973499432087826" border="0" /></a><br />I can't wear clothes, I'm just a roast.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:78%;"><sup><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />1</sup> But not omnivores. Damn dirty celery!</span>doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15057385645073028552noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37475415.post-15343293731721102182008-01-18T12:12:00.000-06:002008-01-18T12:18:20.564-06:00The blog neglect1 temporarily endsSo what if you could make, like, $20 grand more a year, but you had to live in Wisconsin? And who would win in a fight between a jet and a dragon?<br /><br /><sup>1</sup> Or is it blogect?<sup>2</sup><br /><sup>2</sup> No, it isn't.doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15057385645073028552noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37475415.post-88865046789538147732007-11-20T11:50:00.000-06:002007-11-20T12:01:42.766-06:00Good news, everyone!At least, I hope so. Hypes come and go, and I often get crushed when I find out something didn't pan out the way I'd hoped. So I'm cautiously optimistic.<br /><br />Scientists have figured out a way to <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7101834.stm">make human skin cells act like stem cells</a>. This is important for many reasons. If it works, then those dour reprobates who consistently argue that an embryo is a life can kiss my lily white ass. The whole argument becomes moot and they'll have to focus their Luddite appetites elsewhere. So they can go back to their fetus-fests<sup>1</sup> while ignoring the full-blown adult version of humans.<br /><br />The second reason why this rocks is that any potential cures can be personalized to the patient- ergo, no risk of rejection. When someone today gets, say, a new lung, they have to take drug upon drug to weaken their immune system so it doesn't reject that donor lung. Tissue grown using one's own skin cells will not need to be rejected, in the immune systems opinion, because it belongs to that person. <br /><br />Something else that's interesting - these scientists used these cells to create beating cardiac tissue. So, I have to wonder, all those people who think that a beating heart makes a fetus alive - is this clump of tissue a person?<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-size:78%;"><sup>1</sup> Coming to a town near you, usually in the spring. Stay away from the corndogs!</span>doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15057385645073028552noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37475415.post-30738094288253463912007-11-09T16:43:00.000-06:002008-02-12T10:08:00.410-06:00Lazy Sunday returns!Well, sort of. After NBC sent in its clone army to remove all of its copyrighted material from Youtube, Lazy Sunday suffered. But now, with Hulu (which I'm still waiting on my invitation for), it's back! Enjoy!<br /><br /><object height="295" width="400"><param name="movie" value="http://www.hulu.com/embed/So8DvRqCt-CoIo8ji0CK9-76ntyoBzRN"><embed src="http://www.hulu.com/embed/So8DvRqCt-CoIo8ji0CK9-76ntyoBzRN" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" height="295" width="400"></embed></object><br /><br />Edit: I just looked back through my old posts and noticed that this Hulu link now makes you watch a commercial first. Sorry about that, old chap.doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15057385645073028552noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37475415.post-29420248549183250462007-11-08T10:37:00.001-06:002008-12-09T02:14:22.558-06:00If I can be serious for a moment...And I think I can<sup>1</sup>. Nature (in both the natural and man-made sense) regularly provides us with patterns. However, it's up to us to recognize and inject meaning (if any at all) into these patterns. I wonder if that's why people believe in creationism/nonsense? It's hard to believe that patterns occur naturally out of complex systems, but as they do it everyday, we should cease to be surprised by it. Still, I do not practice what I preach, no pun intended<sup>2</sup>. I enjoy these things as much as anyone. <a href="http://www.aaronkoblin.com/work/faa/">Some guys</a> examined FAA flight data and mapped it along the 4th dimension - a fancy way of saying "over time". They produced a map of sorts with this data. Take a look below. Notice especially that as it gets late at night, flight pattern sort of withers away, while as the day progresses, it picks up again, starting on the East Coast and progressing westward along with the sun.<br /><br /><object height="355" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/dPv8psZsvIU&rel=1"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/dPv8psZsvIU&rel=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="355" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br />On an entirely unrelated note, bacterial colonies can be beautiful. Staph infections, not so much. I found these photos on the interwebs. I suspect the first one has been engineered somehow.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLv3kIClWgbh66lbq7B2ymUWSIC-wg6HqUiG7kPIKlt4j3iSArpdX-M2ZipNVXytBIc3KoGQNn3llJZOA84zvvcvB0rfGkV8oXs-QBN3O1ibftPHN9W33FelSO_bYVs4xGWONPNw/s1600-h/abot-86-11_700.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLv3kIClWgbh66lbq7B2ymUWSIC-wg6HqUiG7kPIKlt4j3iSArpdX-M2ZipNVXytBIc3KoGQNn3llJZOA84zvvcvB0rfGkV8oXs-QBN3O1ibftPHN9W33FelSO_bYVs4xGWONPNw/s320/abot-86-11_700.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5130512725317897506" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTTrrSXJ4oxudFa3xcZjQ-hE4maZgFzaalpbQoKL8ptmBVYOp2799KIwkKSQlc5tZ4PNj10w5RtTD_BPReXYusdK9nAJ_TDN9zLfw9NVfCfDb3JAIIV1oY2pl6zhNvBgOb-3SkRw/s1600-h/bacteria4.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTTrrSXJ4oxudFa3xcZjQ-hE4maZgFzaalpbQoKL8ptmBVYOp2799KIwkKSQlc5tZ4PNj10w5RtTD_BPReXYusdK9nAJ_TDN9zLfw9NVfCfDb3JAIIV1oY2pl6zhNvBgOb-3SkRw/s320/bacteria4.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5130512729612864818" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzUjzA6bnRZVWItwD4pJN1Abx1bXjZ-BOwvmfrD6J6dc3vx6WWqMvk5HEf3LzsKrcBZTkV-eEEw6IZaZeoCB_B1jw0N-CPVgDXTatxWPktQN-xhQ-dTOaduJ28dESiY5Khz_hYfw/s1600-h/bacteriastress.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzUjzA6bnRZVWItwD4pJN1Abx1bXjZ-BOwvmfrD6J6dc3vx6WWqMvk5HEf3LzsKrcBZTkV-eEEw6IZaZeoCB_B1jw0N-CPVgDXTatxWPktQN-xhQ-dTOaduJ28dESiY5Khz_hYfw/s320/bacteriastress.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5130512733907832130" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTbYMe4FahnSgQ0tHt9wvfulDLVgsCID4tGgCpTinBzx-vHDaBrEufZq7oYCguwmjkGnMBWWj-w0K4AXdPKKAL2nIMTlzQSQbklUh3pGTsL7NXGunBnGkhGAarOaAsixbnGhCQCQ/s1600-h/concentric-b-subtilis.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTbYMe4FahnSgQ0tHt9wvfulDLVgsCID4tGgCpTinBzx-vHDaBrEufZq7oYCguwmjkGnMBWWj-w0K4AXdPKKAL2nIMTlzQSQbklUh3pGTsL7NXGunBnGkhGAarOaAsixbnGhCQCQ/s320/concentric-b-subtilis.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5130512733907832146" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbDV48pqJTO5vhcgTseIbs2HtA2xFBGfbAiANA16xcT4oWtFucbv83P9UrHF6Q-cUrJbzMvrMEJCZKDAbI1yAX3B_mzqQnG3ayZVigwJQuCnzWcuWrwcneIzhb3lhdkzI3Re0T_g/s1600-h/dictyo1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgbDV48pqJTO5vhcgTseIbs2HtA2xFBGfbAiANA16xcT4oWtFucbv83P9UrHF6Q-cUrJbzMvrMEJCZKDAbI1yAX3B_mzqQnG3ayZVigwJQuCnzWcuWrwcneIzhb3lhdkzI3Re0T_g/s320/dictyo1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5130512738202799458" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><span style="font-size:78%;"><sup>1.</sup> I so stole that joke from David Letterman<br /><sup>2.</sup> "No pun intended" means, "Hey, look at me, I made a pun!"</span>doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15057385645073028552noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37475415.post-38201533641684930702007-11-07T10:42:00.000-06:002007-11-07T10:50:36.929-06:00Finally, I have definitive proof...... that America rules. Before you watch this, know that there are no speakers involved - the sound you hear comes solely from the Tesla coils themselves - well, that and the agony of their inventor's crushing loneliness.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="355"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/B1O2jcfOylU"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/B1O2jcfOylU" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="355"></embed></object>doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15057385645073028552noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37475415.post-88667212922063453122007-11-06T10:07:00.000-06:002007-11-06T10:16:16.369-06:00On dreams, and why we shouldn't have them...Have you ever dreamed of something, and thought, "Well, one day I'll do that, and it'll be awesome." Well, don't do it. You'll just get disappointed.<br /><br />I went up to the roof of my 10 story office building yesterday to eat lunch. I thought it would be profound, standing against the ledge and watching the scenery while I serenely ate my hot pocket. And it would have been awesome, but there were wasps everywhere for some reason. I hate wasps, and all flying stinging creatures, because when I was in the 5th grade I stumbled upon a underground nest of hornets who chased me about a mile before giving up and going home to watch "Friends" or whatever the hell stinging creatures do when they're not stinging me. Ever since then, I've been very leery of these creatures. I even have a gut reaction against bees, even though I know they are extremely important to.. uh.. well, eating. So the wasps made me nervous and I couldn't enjoy myself and I eventually left and then I went back to my office and sat down to write some run-on sentences. <br /><br />I'd rather go back to thinking that eating lunch on the roof is awesome.doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15057385645073028552noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37475415.post-61483191410599215822007-11-05T09:49:00.000-06:002007-11-05T10:23:01.758-06:00I, for one, welcome our robotic driving overlordsIt didn't get much coverage outside of nerd circles (or maybe it did, I don't really travel outside of nerd circles) - but there was a most amazing race this past weekend. The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, or DARPA, a unit of the Pentagon which is prettymuch responsible for the invention of the internet, held its almost annual Grand Challenge. This is a race, but not your typical NASCAR, let's drive in a circle and excite the natives race. This was a race without humans. Yeah, you read that right. Every vehicle in this race was entirely robotic. And not the cheap kind of robotic, where it's actually controlled by a human with a controller somewhere. Nope. These cars use GPS to figure out where they are, where they're going. They have sensors to avoid collisions and are painted in neutral gang colors in case they end up in the wrong 'hood.<br /><br />When DARPA held it's first Grand Challenge in 2004, it was a 142 mile track in the middle of Ass End, California. They had it in the desert just in case a car developed intelligence and emotion, which if movies have anything to teach us, will make it dangerous. However, that didn't happen. Not much happened, actually. Not a single vehicle managed to finish the course. The next year, they held a very similar competition, only this time, several vehicles finished, including one built by a team from hurricane-ravaged New Orleans. Many people argued that driving in a lonely desert was a far cry from driving in an urban environment, with other cars, stop signs, and cheap gas station hot dogs. Well, those people can shut their filthy mouths, because that's been done. They held the 2007 race, the Urban Challenge, in an abandoned army base. They had human driven cars sprinkled around for the robots to deal with. They had stop signs and driveways and parked cars. And I'm sure it was amazing to watch these empty vehicles drive themselves around and stop at intersections with precision.<br /><br />Flying cars? You can have 'em. I'd rather kick my feet up and read a magazine on my way to work everyday.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:78%;">For more information, contact your local library, or just use these links:<br /><br /><a href="http://www.darpa.mil/grandchallenge/index.asp">Darpa.mil's Grand Challenge page</a><br /><a href="http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8719876587754396524">An episode of NOVA about the race</a><br /><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darpa_grand_challenge">The obligatory Wikipedia entry</a>, with much detail lovingly crafted by nerds like myself</span>doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15057385645073028552noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37475415.post-77249734721954123322007-11-04T19:47:00.000-06:002007-11-04T20:01:40.944-06:00Na-blo-po-mo-emo-gijoe-tacoThe Dutch are interesting. Let me rephrase: the stereotypical Dutch are interesting. Are wooden shoes really <span style="font-style: italic;">that</span> comfortable? And now I am completely out of Dutch stereotypes.<br /><br />Remember G.I. Joe? I think the world would be a lot better off if it were more like G.I. Joe. First off, no one would die, because the bad guys have terrible aim. Secondly, the good guys always win, even though their aim is easily just as terrible. And we'd all have cool nicknames. I'll be "Torpedo". What? They already had a "Torpedo?" Fine, I'm "Footloose". That one's taken, too? Doc? Deep Six? Hawk? Iceberg? Screw it, I'm "Lady Jaye".<br /><br /><span style="font-size:78%;">Special thanks to <a href="http://www.joeheadquarters.com/">Joe Headquarters</a> - I could easily spend five, ten minutes at this site.</span>doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15057385645073028552noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37475415.post-37017522921538566592007-11-03T11:43:00.000-06:002008-12-09T02:14:23.209-06:00Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eaterI have nothing to say, so here are some photos. They are photos that I myself took, so it's not totally irrelevant. I've found that in photography, most of the fun is in the taking of the pictures. It's always more fun to take the pictures than to actually see the end result, unless the end result is awesome, which is rare. These are scanned versions of a few pictures I took before I even got into digital photography.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2WMfCjN6g3rHIytnWtZotQISWUIGeib5_KKC-nIRBpzGFy3EzkIJkWiTj8uh6N5uLog3b4v1oYK1_XnGkSc3cXcpg5R7uSoscIW5USwHUC_5plpxryBT9DC32xR68RcInUcu3ZA/s1600-h/cannon.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2WMfCjN6g3rHIytnWtZotQISWUIGeib5_KKC-nIRBpzGFy3EzkIJkWiTj8uh6N5uLog3b4v1oYK1_XnGkSc3cXcpg5R7uSoscIW5USwHUC_5plpxryBT9DC32xR68RcInUcu3ZA/s320/cannon.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5128725687818232290" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxxd5OLXyqNz7sRru-gecmXmvzBoMtbbmW0Mimk30lB0dBCBuwUchJaYAGTE9xuP29ETanvUsthifa8mOycV7NJj0ez5CFj-PCfN45vy9zFaUy13mWA1JJ_Z-ZsZ3ZtamQn0hiLw/s1600-h/beckon.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxxd5OLXyqNz7sRru-gecmXmvzBoMtbbmW0Mimk30lB0dBCBuwUchJaYAGTE9xuP29ETanvUsthifa8mOycV7NJj0ez5CFj-PCfN45vy9zFaUy13mWA1JJ_Z-ZsZ3ZtamQn0hiLw/s320/beckon.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5128725571854115282" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFapJLBynBXJ6i8taCg4e9sFsZtyJsuyp0j9YSIOoavb3-xqmy61c8WpY3GIifmaXQ1bOULaH7AJ6D3zpXYwtuolR2fVKy97luy_Q_tec_IcmHftoqbIE3309p7Vn3WmI-UrGJJA/s1600-h/downtown.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFapJLBynBXJ6i8taCg4e9sFsZtyJsuyp0j9YSIOoavb3-xqmy61c8WpY3GIifmaXQ1bOULaH7AJ6D3zpXYwtuolR2fVKy97luy_Q_tec_IcmHftoqbIE3309p7Vn3WmI-UrGJJA/s320/downtown.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5128673911987478962" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcZoxN2yRifGJ7XMdn46viXN72djhyphenhyphenue5gg93NWk9klaE1oHqgWmpv0DQ44wLvG7G32pkorZSl0vXAZAC4EW53o_4K5RqgKuUM5wzrhg6UvWw0CNPOdCbltJbbyKjopLHNzZzLzw/s1600-h/arches.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcZoxN2yRifGJ7XMdn46viXN72djhyphenhyphenue5gg93NWk9klaE1oHqgWmpv0DQ44wLvG7G32pkorZSl0vXAZAC4EW53o_4K5RqgKuUM5wzrhg6UvWw0CNPOdCbltJbbyKjopLHNzZzLzw/s320/arches.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5128672838245654946" border="0" /></a>doughttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15057385645073028552noreply@blogger.com0